Gary the assassin: Nothing in Particular
If you know the answers to any of the following question, please answer them by
sending an email to garystrauss AT freeshell DOT org
- a more annoying and nauseating band than No Doubt (excluding Counting "fucking" Crows)
- a more boring band than Red Hot Chili Peppers
- a band that is worse than Creed
- a band that sends douche chills up your spine more than Backside Boys or N'Stink
DISCLAIMER #1: This webpage was designed to run optimally in any browser other than IE.
DISCLAIMER #2: This website is a symbolic representation of my brain,
therefore it is meant to be wandered through aimlessly.
DISCLAIMER #3: FUCK AOL! FUCK MICROSOFT!
"Imagination is more important than knowledge" - Albert Einstein
little about me: I am addicted to World of Warcraft, hence my assassin name.
I won't (or can't) tell you where I work. I won't tell you what
I do for a living. The only thing I will tell you is that I enjoy driving my car
(I won't tell you what kind) and singing offkey along with the music that I
listen to, which are audio and MP3 CD's, since every radio station in NY sucks.
I don't like glitzy bullshit, so don't expect cool graphics. This page will
like to see? You can send your suggestions,
but I will probably ignore them. The page contains short little ditties that I
would like to force onto you. I wrote these stories, etc. for personal
reference, some starting as far back as 1984, so that when I get old and bitter,
I can read one and say, "Oh, yeah, I forgot about that..."; However, since I
have the WWW at my disposal, I decided to let the world (and beyond) take a
look. Being that I wrote them for myself, you may feel that you are involved in
that old SAT argument where you claim that these stories are culturally biased.
They might be. If so, too bad. Comments are always welcome, even if you are a
Republican. Just use some analysis to decrypt my email address at the bottom of this page.
I am now accepting money to advertise your name on my page. Here's the deal.
Send me some money and I will list your name on this page.
Once it is posted here you can tell all of your friends to come and look at your
name. Now doesn't that sound like something you would like?
Don't worry, I will never put any advertising on my page, no matter what the offer is.
I registered my page with quite a few search engines, but I'll be damned if I put
a link to their sites with their logo so that I can get into their "hot
site" list. I have my integrity. One last thing - I cannot
offer my servies as either best man or even be a part of any wedding party
as an usher (for reasons that I cannot discuss),
so please don't ask
The "Negative" section (not for the faint at heart)
Trials and Tribulations on the ski trails
Jill Sobule section (most external links seem to be dead, but I kept them for historical purposes)
Other concert stories
Songs I have written
- A song I wrote about Lisa (semi-finalist in a
national poetry contest). Sorry, no surnames
- A song I wrote about her sister, Andrea
- Another song I wrote about an un-named girl
- Yet another song I wrote about yet another un-named girl
- A song about ALL the girls who mistreated me (coming sometime in the 21st
- Lyrics to all the Snots'
songs (My punk band from the 80's, although we never officially broke up)
Amusing scribblings that have no category
Our 1995 Hamptons house
being raided by the police
Frog Story. My theory
on the disappearance of my aquatic frogs
If I were baseball
D.C. to drink beer at the Brickskellar
- Nostradamus? Anyone can do this (removed - eerily accurate!)
Links? Would I stoop so low?
- Woj's Robyn Hitchcock Page.
- The Church Homepage.
- lj is one of
the coolest chicks I know. She is not a big black man.
- I found this page by a girl with rare humor. She's hot but unfortunately I don't know her!
- I'm very particular. I'm looking for some more I like. It's hard to please
Under no circumstances will I ever purchase anything offered to me as the
result of an unsolicited e-mail message. Nor will I forward chain letters,
petitions, mass mailings, or virus warnings to large numbers of others.
This is my contribution to the survival of the online community.
LEGAL NOTICE: Anyone who sends me unsolicited/commercial e-mail will be
charged a $500 proofreading fee. Consider this official notification. Failure to
abide by this will result in legal action.
- By US Code Title 47, Sec.227(a)(2)(B), a computer/modem/printer meets the
definition of a telephone fax machine.
- By Sec.227(b)(1)(C), it is unlawful to send any unsolicited advertisement
to such equipment.
- By Sec.227(b)(3)(C), a violation of the aforementioned Section is
punishable by action to recover actual monetary loss, or $500, whichever is
greater, for each violation.
Webmaster: garystrauss AT freeshell DOT org
Last updated: March 31, 2019 18:04:42
© copyright 1996 Gary the assassin (^)