Lyrics to the songs of The Snots

The Snots was/were my punk band that formed one Saturday night in 1984. Gary Snot, Johnny Snot, and Stu Snot got our instruments and any noise making devices we could find and plugged directly into a tape deck and started recording. Take notice of how we evolved immensely from song to song in such a short period of time. Although never officially breaking up, the band recorded for about 2 years, with two stray recodings in 1987. Here are the lyrics to our recordings, arranged in chronologic order. When I get time, I will also post the lyrics to the songs we didn't record (either because they were even worse than these or we just didn't have time to record anymore)

Take A Whiff Pulsating Commercial Radio
Bitch (I Wish I Was An) Alien I'm A Dildo
Lobotomy Both Of Us Chewy Diarreah
Yer Dead You're So Colorful
You Suck Released
Crazy Ludwig Fuck Off Asshole
You Little Shit Lizard Legs
Didactic Duo Pet Hamster
Communist Baby Moron
Come Out Come Out Yer Back
Hey Matt The Paladin
Public Toilet Kill
{I Wish I Was) The Pope Oad Two Toad
Jill's Pills Ana Rexic
Jewish Girls No More Bruce
I Was The Abortion the Failed (I Ate A) Placenta
Hypocritical Shits Destroy The World
Family Jewels


Gary Snot
I'm gonna knock you off your high horse
You ain't fucking shit
I don't believe your stories
You think you're so perfect
You think you're hot shit
Well I got news for you
Take a whiff, you rag
You think you're God's gift to the world
I cannot deal with you
Better face reality you worthless piece of shit
You think you're hot shit
Well I got news for you
Take a whiff you rag
Go back to list of titles


Gary Snot
She was a bitch
She was a witch
She was a bitch
I don't know why
She didn't die
Her hair was brown
She looks like a clown
But worst of all
She was a bitch
Bitch bitch bitch
Go back to list of titles


Stu Snot
I'm getting a lobotomy
My momma says she's through with me
I'm not gonna die
I think I'm gonna try
I don't want lobotomy
They're gonna make a vegetable out of me
Too much thorazine is bad
If taken with a piece of lead
Oh No!
I'm getting a lobotomy
I'm getting a lobotomy
They're putting a hole in my head
Go back to list of titles


Gary Snot
I was just talking to you yesterday
Why the hell did they all say
That you were dead
You sounded pretty much alive
I think it's all fucking jive
That you are dead

Hey, you're dead
They can't find your head
Or so they said
You are dead

They said that you were a slut
You didn't even know how to drive
So how could they say that
I think they were jealous
So that's why they killed you

Hey, you're dead
They can't find your head
Or so they said
Are you really dead?

I will avenge thee
And even if they come after me
I'll spread their fucking guts
All over their own butts
And if they come back for more
I'll really make them sore

Hey, you're dead
They can't even find your head
Or so they said
Are you really dead?
Go back to list of titles


Johnny Snot
You say you like art
You say you're a congressman
You say you like music
But you listen to Michael Jackson
You say you are a queen
And you say you like art
Well I want to fuck Maxwell Smart

'Cause you Suck
You suck shit
You belong on a list
You really suck

Your mother was a lycanthrope
Your father was a toad
Your brother smells like angel dust
You've got a Roman nose

You always watch TV
Not wearing any clothes
'Cause you suck
You belong on a list
You suck
You suck shit
Go back to list of titles


Gary Snot (concept by Dennis Blair)
They call me Crazy Ludwig
'Cause I'm deaf in one ear
I'm gonna write the 9th symphony
And I'll be dead in a year
Go back to list of titles


Johnny Snot
You little shit, you are a bitch
You little tit, you are a slut
You think you're cool
Well you're a nut
You think you're fun
Well you're a rut

And thought you've got a reputation
It's really an exaggeration
And though I try communication
What you need's annihilation
You're such a shit

You stupid whore, you're such a bore
You can't relax, You're such a shit
Why don't you die
No, you wouldn't do that
Would you -- You little shit

And when your mother calls tells you to get home
Or when your sister calls you on the phone
Or when your car is running out of gas
Something makes me want to kick your ass
You stupid shit
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba Such a little shit
Go back to list of titles


Gary Snot
You called to say hello.
I said, "Go to Hell!"
You have such a terrible cough.
I told you to fuck off.
You think you're pretty smart,
But you smell like a fart.
You think you're pretty cool,
But I think you're just a fool.
You don't like my music.
Oh, why do you always have to pick
Your nose.
You say I'm obnoxious,
And you're noxious.
You're always fretting about something.
Bing bing bing Ricochet Rabbit.
Ahhhahhahhh! Uggggggggh!
Scum of the earth.
Didactic duo.
Go back to list of titles


Johnny Snot
My baby's a communist
She ran off with a rapist
Who left her for a feminist
Who left her for a Marxist
Nobody loves communists

My baby's got a wooden leg
She keeps it hanging on a peg
I take it from her when she begs
I'm horny for chicks with wooden legs

My baby got hit by a train
It knocked the blood out of her veins
It left her in a bit of pain
It knocked her left leg into Spain

So don't love the communists
They'll only leave you in a mess
It was a pain to go to Spain
Just to get my baby's leg
Go back to list of titles


Johnny Snot
Why don't you ever ever call
The phone is hanging on the wall
Why don't you lift it off the hook
And dial my number, it's in the book
Why don't you ever look me up
I'm waiting here you little fuck

I never have anything to do
I spend all my time waiting for you
Why don't you ever open up
You always wear your dress lowcut
You let me look down
But you never let me get up

What is that you say to me
You say that I am too ugly
And that you're sick of all my friends
And that all you said was just pretend
So that's why you don't ever call
I understand you said it all
No, I don't mind I'll live without you
I'll never ever think about you

Why don't you ever leave your house
The place is as quiet as a dead mouse
Inside you know I can't escape you
That's why I'm waiting here to rape you
Go back to list of titles


Johnny Snot
Hey Matt, you're in the Marines
Hey Matt, you wash the latrines
Hey Matt, it's not what it seems
Hey Matt, why did you join the Marines
Hey Matt, you lost all your hair
Hey Matt, there's nothing up there

You're the freak that joined the Marines
If you want to be bald
And you're really dumb
Then join the Marines
They'll take whoever comes
If you want to be always doing what you're told
Then join the Marines before you're too old

Hey Matt, you can't leave your base
Hey Matt, your life's a disgrace
Hey Matt, get that grin off your face
Why did you join the Marines?
Hey Matt, you thought it was cool
Hey Matt, now you end up a fool
Hey Matt, you can't pay when you call
Hey Matt, now you're going AWOL

If you want to be bald
And stuck in a bad scene
Then you should be a freak
And join the Marines
Right Matt???
Go back to list of titles


Gary Snot
I'm writing this song on Thanksgiving
Because it's the best time of year for living
But sometimes in an emergency
You must act with utmost urgency
So get there quick...

You may be tanning at the beach
Or strolling through the local mall
One of these best better be in reach
Or you may be in for a fatal fall

Public toilet, they're very dirty
Public toilet, the walls are wordy
Public toilet, can you bear that smell
Public toilet, a gift from hell

There are many options for you to do
Like drop a log or take a piss
But one thing you must never do
Is please by golly do not miss

I don't know what's wrong with the people of today
They write on walls and vandalize
And if you plan an extended stay
Bring a book and a good disguise

And now I think I'll end this song
I'm watching football in the den
I'm drinking Bailey's but not for long
Because soon it will that time again
For a...
Go back to list of titles


Johnny Snot
I wish I was the Pope
He always gets to wear white
He always has clean clothes
He never gets into fights
I like hit little hat
I wanted one like that
I wish I was the Pope
He's never ever broke

I wish I was the Queen
She always makes a scene
She gets to ride a horse
They all love her of course
She gets to wear a crown
She's owns all that's around
I bet she's never down
She's known the world renown

Oh why can't I be someone else
Someone who's on TV
Who doesn't have to worry
About where he's supposed to be
And why couldn't I be someone else
Someone with pretty clothes
Who always has good food to eat
And doesn't pick his nose

If I could be the Pope
I wouldn't need my dope
My girl and I could elope
If I could be the Pope
Go back to list of titles


Johnny Snot
I knew a girl her name was Jill
Once she forgot to take her pill
It happened as it sometimes will
I made her pregnant stupid Jill
She said that I should marry her
But I thought that was so absurd
She said she needed 50 bucks
So doctor's could undo the fuck


I said you're right and I felt the guilt
I couldn't be such a shit and jilt
This girl who I had knocked up
But 50 bucks that was too much
Hey Jill I said I got a plan
We don't need no doctor man
I've got a hanger I've got a can
We'll do it here but Jill she ran


OK my man she said to me
We'll do it here but first let's see
Just what to do so let's you and me
Take a walk down to the library
So the we went and got a book
It showed me how I took a look
She spread her legs I stuck in my hook
I gave a yank and out it shook


Oh shit she said I'm gonna die
She sat back and began to cry
I knew that quick I had to act
So I took the kid and shoved it back
And soon the blood began to stop
I wiped the floor up with a mop
Jill was so glad she was alive
She said I caused her to survive


Well I don't know some things I just
Can't do and bachelorhood is a must
Why should I spend my life with Jill
When there are so many girls who will
So I stuck her back there on the bed
I tied her arms around her head
I yanked again the sheets turned red
And soon poor Jill was very dead


So if you don't want to end like Jill
Don't let it out that you always will
And whatever you do even if you're ill
Don't forget to take your pill
Go back to list of titles


The Snots, Steven Louie
Those Jewish girls they think they're hot
But you and I know that they're not
Watch them walking down the street
Listen to the guys say, "Ain't she sweet"
But you'll be in for a fatal fall
If you sit there waiting for their call
They'll shut you out and drop you fast
Relationships with them won't last
They think they're sexpots but they're not
Those Jewish girls may they all rot

Everywhere I look there's JAPs
They're all over the fucking maps
Their reputation's squeaky clean
They're favorite color's money green
Those stingy bitches are so cold
They'll only wear it if it's gold
They say it's for our benefit
They're all such fucking hypocrites

JAPs are whining all the time
Take their daddy's for every dime
Form lines outside of every mall
For clothes they have to buy it all
Makeup oozing form their face
Fluorescent puddles everyplace
The stench of perfume will make you wince
They're looking for their Jewish prince

Walking down the street with their noses in the air
They don't care about the world down there
The typical JAP is such a bitch
All she wants to be is rich
They wanna be worshipped as if they were Venus
But they wouldn't know what to do with a penis
They only want to grab your money
Only then they'll be your honey
Go back to list of titles


Johnny Snot
I was the abortion that failed
I crawled out of the garbage pail
They sent the doctor to a jail
I was the abortion that failed
My mother didn't want me
I was sent to the reformatory
The headmistress ranted and railed
'Cause I was an abortion that failed
Oh why couldn't they have done it right
I'm crazy I can't sleep at night
I piss everybody
I'm always sick I got a cough
I smell like a sewer in the spring
I remember everything
For how could I know of a surgeon in jail
'Cause I was one who's abortion failed
So don't ask me to see a doctor
I wouldn't be here if they were competent
I wouldn't rape I wouldn't be male
If I wasn't an abortion that failed
So don't blame me for your problems
You don't know what it's like to be rejected at birth
By a girl because she isn't a wife
I didn't ask her to get pregnant
I didn't want to be assailed
By feelings of guilt and surviving
'Cause I was an abortion that failed
Go back to list of titles


Johnny Snot
You go me livin' in society
Where nobody cares about you and me
Where nobody cares about anything
Except getting fucked and getting rich
You won't get me you son of a bitch
I go to school and learn psychology
But nobody knows about people's brains
Nobody knows how to get inside
Nobody knows what makes me insane

You hypocritical shits you assholes
You lie and you steal and you bitch
And I ought to be locked up
You hypocritical shits you assholes
You go around fucking people up you assholes
Then you go and laugh in their faces
You assholes you hypocritical shits

You want me to get a job and make money
To support some bitch who'll just cheat on me
And some screaming brat who'll take advantage of me
And eat all my food and watch my TV
And all because you did the same things, and you're pissed
So you want me to do the same
But I won't you hypocritical shit
I won't get caught like you did
No no you asshole you won't get me
I don't trust you anymore
I know you don't give nothing for free
How do I know you're not waiting outside my door
You hypocritical shits you asshole
You think you can fuck up my life
You assholes you hypocritical shit
You fucking assholes
You're not going to fuck up my life
No way you assholes
Go back to list of titles


Gary Snot
If you want a psycho party
Hey you better not be tardy
Come in at eight in the morning
But I must give you fair warning
That room is really much too hot
People are passing out a lot
Yeah our tests are pretty easy
And the lectures are very pleasing

That ain't no football score
time for the Snots to go on tour
Stop complaining there's plenty more
This is what you've been waiting for

Yeah this year went pretty damn fast
And in this class we had a blast
But soon enough it had to end
Joe gave me a quarter to lend
I called up WLIR
I'm glad I wasn't in my car
I voted on Platter du jour
Voted chef hats, quantity four
Sitting in the back of the room
Trying to find this song a tune
And outside the leaves are blowing
C'mon man it should be snowing
It's just about 60 degrees
Leaves aren't even on the trees
He weather don't you remember
This is the month of December

I think that everyone wants to leave
I'm hear for journals to retrieve
There are only a few left now
I feel a tear upon my brow
I'm listening to my music
I should be going to see a flick
I think that I should leave here too
This class was good for me and you
Go back to list of titles


Johnny Snot
My wife she is a first rate bitch
She grubs off me because I'm rich
My kid's in college he's selling dope
My daughter wants to screw the Pope
I told my wife my youth was gone
She said I was a fool
I told her she was very cruel
So she kicked me in the family jewels

Oh why
Do I have to sing so high
My punk career is ruined
'Cause I lost my family jewels

I cursed and ran out to the car
I grabbed my balls but I couldn't get far
The truth is that they were detached
I put them in a pickle jar
I entered the hospital squealing in pain
They stuck a needle in my vein
The doctors did what they could do
But they couldn't re-attatch my family jewels
I go to a support group
For veterans of Vietnam
But they're not gonna help my voice
I might as well join WHAM!
Go back to list of titles


Johnny Snot
You slide into my car
You leave the door ajar
I said, "Please close it quick!"
But you reach and grab my stick
You put me into drive
I'm going 85
Will I make it home alive
I don't think I can survive
We go up to your room
I Think it is too soon
I don't know when to make my move
But I've got something to prove
You take off you jacket and lie
Down on the bed and blink your eyes
But when I move close next to you
You get up and put on the tube

You've got me pulsating
I want to start mating
It is so frustrating
Girl to be pulsating

We're lying on the bed
You've got your legs around me head
But in the middle, "Stop!" you said
You wanna watch TV instead
I said, "Hey what's with you girl?"
You think you're the only on in the world
I should spend the night with Eve
But you said, "Fine then you can leave"
But I couldn't get myself to go
I went back in and said hello
So quiet I could hear the clock ticking
Upstairs the bedroom light was flickering
So I stepped upon the stairs
I heard the noises from up there
I looked into your room so calm
And caught you in your bed with mom
Go back to list of titles


Gary Snot
I wish I could go to Saturn
To get out of this humdrum pattern
I wonder if there's life out there
On the planet with the frozen air
Can you really prove that it has rings
And many of those satellite things
I want to see the Milky Way
But it looks like I'm here to stay
I look forward to leaving earth
And having myself an alien birth

Yeah I'm going to outerspace
To get away from the Human Race
It's really such a bad disgrace
And I feel like I'm a basket case

I've got to get up to the stars
After I get past the planet mars
And if I get a big enough salary
I'll explore our galaxy
Once I get of this planet
I'll use my telescope to scan it
I'll zoom past the asteroid belt
Was that an earthquake I just felt
No, it's just one of those rocks again
Damn! I'm out of oxygen
Go back to list of titles


Johnny Snot
I want to run I want to hide
I think I'll commit suicide
The things around me every day
Just make me want to go away
I try to stop I try to think
I can't see straight I need a drink
I cannot eat I cannot sleep
I try and try but I can't weep

You treat me like a piece of shit
Into your life I cannot fit
The way you put me on the shelf
Just makes me want to kill myself
I've thought about it thru and thru
You know it's either me or you
I'll kill myself rather than hurt ya
Or get myself locked up for murder

But soon I'm gonna lose control
I'll lose my head I'll lose my soul
I'm dealing with the devil babe
He'll see you in an early grave
And when you feel an icy touch
It's over then you'll know that much
And that I failed in suicide
And that I couldn't run and hide

And as the knife cuts to your bone
You'll know you'll never be alone
I'll kill myself and go with you
You know I've always wanted to
And on your floor they'll find us both
Embraced in love, knives in our throats
Go back to list of titles


The Snots
You're so green - they removed your spleen you're so green.
You're so blue - we don't know what to do you're so blue.
You're so red - was it something that I said you're so red.
You're so pink - you're such a lousy fink you're so pink.
You're so gray - why don't you go away you're do gray.
You're so black - why don't they send you back you're so black.
You're so white - you always start a fight you're so white.
You're so brown - you always put me down you're so brown.

You're so green - your breath's like gasoline you're so green.
You're so blue - you're always sniffing glue you're so blue.
You're so red - you call that thing a head you're so red.
You're so pink - you don't know how to think you're so pink.
You're so gray - you're dead like Baby Fae you're so gray.
You're so black - brains are what you lack you're so black.
You're so white - I fainted from fright you're so white.
You're so brown - you always put me down you're so brown.

You're so green - there's nothing in between -- your ears.
You're so blue - who the hell would want to screw -- you.
You're so red - let's go to bed -- and sleep.
You're so pink - I like your mink -- coat.
You're so gray - glad you didn't stay -- here.
You're so black - you were hit by a Mack -- truck.
You're so white - let's make a right -- turn.
You're so brown - you look like a mound -- of shit.
Go back to list of titles


Johnny Snot
They let me out late yesterday
The happy sun was shining
The doctors took my straight-jacket away
The nurses all were smiling
You're cured," they said with happy glee
But no one had to tell me
I was so happy to get out
I wanted just to leap and shout

'Cause I'm not crazy anymore
I'm happy and I know for sure
That I love every one of you
Even if you don't want me to

I got a job I went to work
My boss called me a stupid jerk
Bit I don't care 'cause I'm cured
That I'm normal is assured
So I ignored the evil taunts
And went out happy on my jaunts
I smile at people everywhere
And let them know I really care

But one day perhaps it grew too much
I longed for a human being's touch
But no one wanted an ex-mental case
They only spat upon my face
So now I'll show them everyone
They shouldn't have teased me, had their fun
They reject my love they've got my hate
And now I'm getting quite irate
So now I'm back in the hospital
I'm happy now I've had my fill
But I'm not crazy that's for sure
'Cause killing's all humans are good for
Go back to list of titles


G. Snot, J. Snot, Durran Johnson
Guitars in the street
We're keeping the beat
So what if it's loud
It's pleasing he crowd

This is my house
So fuck off asshole
I can do what I want
So fuck off asshole
I can play fucking music
'Cause it's my fucking house
So fuck off asshole

You're calling the fuzz
You ugly old scuzz
You're getting me pissed
Now eat my fist

So stow it you creep
Who cares if you can't sleep
We'll stop when we're through
So screw you too!
Go back to list of titles


Johnny Snot
She moves like an iguana
Her eyes are on the sides of her face
I didn't think I'd want her
But I took her everyplace
She doesn't take it personally
The jokes about her scales
There's nothing she can do about it
Her skin's as tough as nails

She's got lizard legs
It's very Jurassic
Though it would be like
Screwing sandpaper
But then it was fantastic

She slithers in and out of me
Her temperature is cool
She was created in a laboratory
By a crazed genetic fool
She wants to be a simple girl
Not a Tyrannosaurus Rex
But then she's got to live with it
And she gets fantastic sex
Go back to list of titles


Gary Snot
Why can't Matt be a normal guy
And get a dog like you or I
But he went out and bought a rat
And now I'm gonna make it die
I'm gonna have to broil it
Make the gravy out of spit
Put it in at 365
It's sure to be far from alive

Hang it from it's little tail
With a hammer and a nail
Spike it through its little gut
Listen to that critter make a "splut"
How else can I kill this thing
I know what I'll do I'll sing
This is sure to torture it
And give Matt a big shit fit
Go back to list of titles


Johnny Snot
I'm gonna kick you in the head
I'm so sick of your face
I'm gonna do it 'till your dead
I'll kick you everyplace
I'm so sick of listening to you
You always tell me what to do
But you're so stupid
Why don't you shut up

Why are you a moron
You try to act so smart
Your head is made of boron
You've got the brains of a fart

I'm gonna punch you in the mouth
Maybe then you'll stop talking
You act like you're from the south
Why don't you get to walking
I'm gonna shatter all your bones
My God you're so retarded
I can't believe the things you say
You're done before you've started
So what makes you want to talk to me
You know I think you're shit
I'm gonna shoot you if I see you
I mean I've really had it
Go back to list of titles


Johnny Snot
They said that you were dead
I saw in your grave
You didn't look too good
Your head was severed babe
But I went home and there you were
Sleeping in my bed
How could you be back with me
When I know that you're dead

Hey yer back!
Gave me a heart attack
Did they kick you out of hell
Decaying bodies really smell
Go back to list of titles


Johnny Snot
Slarti was a Paladin Slarti always had to win
Tried to capture Nevves Stark who had gone out on a lark
Saved Lora from Orcus' wand She told him of her missing son
Soon Slarti was hot on his trail He tracked him to the Rusty Nail
With Chudacat he peered in time Saw Trish and Nevves the palace stairs climb
Up in the room Trish laughed & squealed Deep anti-magiked, Nevves was revealed
Trish screamed and shouted on the bed While Chudacat grabbed Nevves' head
Slarti stuck him in the bag while Trish protested, she was mad
Slarti got Lora and went up north with Nevves in the bag, of course
Amos tried to be his friend but Slarti didn't trust him in any end
Amos said he was with the KIA grabbed Lora and the bag and went away
Left Slarti standing all alone Met Kristen waiting at her home
She was afraid to tell her dad she was right he was mad
But Slarti told him anyway he got pissed off but he had to say
That Slarti should retrieve his son they found the plane Tarturus was the one
The Slarti party went disguised but Melakaar soon realized
He caught poor Deep Thought in a trap and soon the party was under wraps
Mel said steal the Krast-shield or the women die Slarti didn't bat an eye
OK he said I have no choice there was no fear in Slarti's voice
He went to Krast and soon it fell and old Krast was mad as hell
You wrecked my town you jerk he said but Slarti hit him in the head
He traded the women for the power source But Nevves stayed with Mel of course
So Melakaar was powerful he used the Paladin like a tool
He built his shield on Tarturus and tried to kill old Ilserres
So Gandalf tried to stop his plan he failed in that time and again
'Till he met Slarti quite by fate they joined up before it was tool ate
They dug a hole under the shield sent Otto in he wouldn't yield
While they wrecked the town to hell Chudacat dropped a Sphere on the shell
So Slarti went to get his stuff he saw Melakaar he'd had enough
He tossed the Ring and blew it up Poor Melakaar he had it rough
The Source was blown and went kaboom Nothing left of the room
But Slarti and Gandalf celebrated too soon, now Gandalf lives up on the moon
'Cause old Ilserres lost his life and Nevves Stark raped Gandalf's dead wife
Go back to list of titles


Johnny Snot
Kill the JAPs
Kill the commies
Kill the niggers
Kill your mommies
Kill your boss
Kill your wife
Kill your girlfriend
End her life
Let's kill everybody we know
The days just move so slow
Let's kill everyone
And inherit all their money
Kill the Chinese
Kill the Arabs
Kill the French
Kill the Cabbage
Kill the Pope
Kill the prez
Kill the gays
Kill Pascual Perez
Let's kill
Go back to list of titles


Todd Endsley
He's on a permanent acid trip
He's on a permanent acid trip
LA la la la la la la
He thinks he's so hip
He thinks he's so hip
LA la la la la la
He's permanently high
He looks like he's gonna cry
LA la la la la
His eyes are so red
He should be in bed
LA la la la la
That's because he's on a permanent acid trip
Go back to list of titles


Gary Snot
Ana lives in Montana
She works in the sewer
Her boss is crippled
But he can still screw you
Ana is not a sinner
She's an Atheist
Her sister's a masochist
Her brother's a sadist

Anorexic Anorexic
She don't eat no food
Ana Rexic Ana Rexic
OD'd on a single quaalude

Ana what do you wanna
Do with your life
Will you take me away
Will you make me a wife
Ana used to like banana
But she don't eat dinner
Because Ana has a problem
Ana is rexic!!!
Go back to list of titles


Johnny Snot
No more Bruce
It's just an excuse
For the radio
To give abuse
To hear his voice
Not by choice
It's like a frog
He's lost a cog
Ten years live
I don't care
It's his goddamn voice
That I can't bear
A 5-record set
Give me a break
When are people going to realize
That he's a fake

Bruce Springsteen
Fulfill my dream
Release a live album
So I can scream

If ever there was an example of over-saturation
It's your fucking music on every station
Of every city state and nation
Ever hear of conflagration

Give it up Bruce
Go back to Jersey
Forfeit your popularity
Become a clergy

Your tagged as "The Boss"
To me you're just a parasite
Even uglier than Spencer Ross
And your records are so trite
Go back to list of titles


Johnny Snot
I went to the hospital to see my friend Stu
They shot him 'cause his library books were due
But I got sick of machines that go "ping"
I killed three patients when I started to sing
(Luckily Stu had built up a tolerance)
So I went downstairs and I got lost
I was looking for food at a real low cost
'Cause I was broke and about to choke
When I saw this thing lying in a tray
It looked like pizza or maybe lasagna
It smelled OK like it didn't need nothing on it
So I pulled out my plastic fork and knife
And ate it; But I was in for the shock of my life
I reached a section that was long and thin
I sucked it in like spaghetti or maybe
It was a little thicker, but I got somewhat thicker
When at the other end I found a dead baby

Oh my god I ate a placenta
What else is there left to do
Didn't want to didn't think I meant to
At least I know that they're good for you

I was so grossed out that I puked on the floor
I jumped over a table and headed for the door
I mean, "gross, I just almost ate a dead baby"
They're probably high in calories
And I could've got rabies, maybe

So anyway I went back upstairs and saw Stu
I got an idea that no one else knew
I said, "I almost ate a dead baby, Stu"
He asked was it good and I said, "well I would have like it
if it wasn't red and blue"
So we got some food coloring some red dye #2
And we got some more dead babies; "From where," asked Stu
And we started our own company, now we're millionaires
The richest on earth which just goes to show
What you can do with an afterbirth
Go back to list of titles


Johnny Snot
Destroy the world Destroy the world
C'mon everybody let's destroy the world
Atomic bombs nuclear war
C'mon people let's have some more
Life's a bore and I've had enough
Come on let's blow everything up
Destroy the world kill all life
I hate my kids I hate my wife
I'd end it all now but why bloody a knife
Destroy the world and end everyone's life
I hate it all and it hates me
So let's destroy it it's done so easily
Push a button launch a rocket
Annihilation's cool don't knock it
Destroy the world destroy the world
Don't be a baby let's destroy the world
Go back to list of titles

Commerical Radio / I'm A Dildo / Chewy Diarreah

Sorry, I still have to transcribe these

If you came here directly
click here to go to my HomePage.